Fetish, Freedom, or Something Else? Unmasking the Hidden Forces Behind Compulsion
What if the desires that feel most personal—those fantasies you can’t seem to live without—aren’t entirely yours? What if some of the most intense urges you experience are being fueled by something outside of you—invisible forces that latch onto emotional wounds and feed off your shame, compulsions, and isolation?
For the longest time, I was terrified of talking about this—scared of being dismissed as crazy, or worse, ridiculed for going “too deep.” But through my own healing journey and working closely with clients, it became impossible to ignore. Some kinks and compulsions aren’t just tricky behaviors to manage—they’re symptoms of something far more insidious: external energy structures that hijack your desires and identity.
In therapy, particularly in Internal Family Systems (IFS), these external forces are called Unattached Burdens (UBs). Think of UBs as energy parasites—invisible but powerful forces that sneak into your system when you’re most vulnerable. They thrive on emotional distress and keep you hooked in cycles of compulsive behavior, blocking you from healing or moving on. If you’ve ever felt like no amount of self-acceptance made your fetish easier to live with, you’re not alone—and UBs may be part of the answer.
The AFC (Architecture of Fetishistic Complexes) framework goes even deeper, explaining how UBs are just one part of a larger system of energy structures. These include social egregores—hive mind-like forces that shape behavior within communities—and legacy burdens, which carry emotional weight from family lines and cultural narratives. Whether through shame, obsession, or an identity wrapped around your desires, these forces can keep you trapped, isolated, and disconnected from your authentic self.
For many years, I tried to reconcile my own desires with the prevailing message that “all desires are good” and “fetishes are part of who you are.” But what happens when your fetish is harming you—physically, emotionally, or socially? What if there’s more to healing than just accepting your desires? What if the path forward requires going deeper, confronting the forces driving your compulsions, and learning to reclaim your mind and body?
In this post, I’ll share how science and spirituality converge to offer real solutions. Through the AFC framework, QUTC model, and the therapeutic tools I’ve used on myself and with clients, I’ll show you how identifying and removing these energy structures—like UBs—can lead to freedom, fulfillment, and peace.
These experiences are conveniently ignored or dismissed in mainstream discourse about fetishism, compulsion, and mental health. Robert Falconer’s work in The Others Within Us confirms that these forces are not only real but more prevalent than we think. It’s time to confront these realities head-on.
In his book, Falconer highlights some fascinating statistics: A 2012 poll found that 57% of Americans believe in demonic possession, with other studies showing similar or even higher results. Public Policy Polling reported that in 2017, 63% of young Americans believe that noncorporeal entities can take partial control of humans. Falconer’s research emphasizes that, contrary to secular expectations, these beliefs are growing, not shrinking, as evidenced by rising public acceptance of ghost and spirit phenomena. This shift directly challenges the secular narrative of Max Weber, who predicted that rational materialism would strip these beliefs away. Instead, the importance of these entities and experiences seems only to be expanding.
Falconer states that even within the field of psychology, the reluctance to address these topics reflects a kind of intellectual arrogance, and even a form of colonialism. He warns against sneering at the so-called “uneducated” or dismissing the experiences of those who encounter these forces. I couldn’t agree more. As Falconer puts it, “If something doesn’t fit your ideology and worldview, you declare it a disease.” This hits especially close to home for me, as I’ve worked with countless individuals trapped in fetishistic complexes, battling with forces far beyond personal trauma or unmet emotional needs.
For the longest time, I was terrified to admit that my own experiences went beyond the psychological, into the realm of spiritual energy and external forces. But through my own journey of healing and working with my clients, the presence of UBs, social egregores, and legacy burdens became undeniable. These forces act parasitically, feeding off emotional wounds, compounding shame, and deepening compulsions. Ignoring them not only hinders healing—it perpetuates suffering. And no amount of “integration work” via new age dogma seems to help.
When Fetishism Meets Energy Structures
What makes this topic so relevant to my work in the AFC framework is how these energy structures interact with fetishistic behavior. Modern narratives around kink and fetishism often promote an “anything goes” ethos—encouraging individuals to dive deep into their desires without reflection. But what these narratives overlook is that fetishes, especially compulsive or extreme ones, are often enmeshed with energy structures.
In my work, I’ve encountered people struggling with fetishes that feel completely outside their control—desires that trap them in harmful cycles and alienate them from genuine connection. For some, like myself, a smoking fetish becomes so deeply ingrained that it feels like a prison. UBs and energy structures thrive in these conditions, amplifying compulsions and fostering isolation.
The reluctance to discuss these phenomena reflects the broader societal discomfort with anything that crosses the boundary between science and spirituality. But bridging these two worlds, as I do with the Quantum Unification Theory of Consciousness (QUTC framework), offers a way forward. This intersection creates space for both spiritual insight and practical, therapeutic tools—an approach that provides real, tangible results.
A New Way Forward: Confronting UBs without Fear
Through my work, I’ve seen how addressing UBs, social egregores, and other energy structures can lead to remarkable breakthroughs. Whether it’s through visualization techniques, energy healing practices, or Falconer’s own methods for UB removal, confronting these forces head-on brings freedom to those trapped in compulsive cycles. We’re not talking about old-school hardcore exorcism though… It’s not about fighting against desires—but about freeing yourself from the forces that distort them into something destructive.
For me, EMDR helped prune the neural pathways tied to my compulsive fetishes, but it was only after I removed the UBs that I experienced profound change. Releasing these forces opened the door for genuine connection and healing. I’ve seen the same with many of my clients—whether they choose to deprogram their fetishes entirely (which is totally possible) or find new ways to engage with them healthily, the key is liberating themselves from these external influences.
My work is not about being anti-kink. Far from it. I love fetish fashion, kink aesthetics, and the freedom that comes with exploring desire. But when fetishes stop serving you and become prisons, it’s time to do the hard work of healing. My mission is to provide an option for those who seek change—for those who want to explore these complexities from a place of empowerment rather than compulsion.
Ultimately, I’ve found that facing these energy structures isn’t something to fear: it’s an opportunity for growth, healing, and freedom. A key aspect is staying away from religious dogma, limiting beliefs, guilt & shame and puritanical narratives - which serve noone except the parasites themselves.
In this journey, acknowledging both the science and the spiritual dimensions is what allows us to move forward, helping people break free from compulsive patterns and reclaim their lives.